I am dating a black guy
That hurt had nothing to do with his sexual orientation and nothing to do with his place in the LGBT acronym. It’s the worst I’ve ever hurt someone, and that realization made me take a hard look at my choices and my actions.
In the long run, our relationship changed me for the better — at his expense.
He had every right to hate me, as did all of his friends and all of his family, who welcomed me for a two-week stay one summer when we were together.
Over the course of the breakup, I started a blog called (referring to myself), where I would write about gay life from the perspective of "that guy you probably still hate." Although I'm no longer writing the blog for him, the relationship did, perhaps, help me become a little less beastly.
One man in the video recounted the night he was approached and told, "Oh my gosh, I've totally never dated a black person before, but if I did, I'd totally get with you." Johnson remembered the time a man put his hand on his shoulder outside a club and said, "You know, Cameron, I'm really into mulatto guys." "You know what, I'm not really into ethnic guys," another participant once heard.
It's this kind of exoticizing and tokenization that inspired Johnson to make the documentary. I've dated men of all colors, shapes and sizes, but it seemed that white men habitually said reckless, racist things to me as part of their approach," Johnson told One reason such pickup lines are so insidious is because they play on long-established stereotypes of the black gay community.
We’re too scared to swing the door all the way open with a fabulous "We're here!
My ex and I had many differences that made us incompatable, but our different orientations were hardly the reason why we split.
In actuality, our orientations slightly overlapped, like Venn diagrams – our relationship existed in the purple area between his bisexual red and my gay blue. I could attempt to rationalize my cheating and say that I did it because I thought that, as a bisexual, he would rebound fast with a girl or hit his (larger) playing field with a vengeance. I cheated because I was horny, and I lied about it because I didn’t want him to know, and by telling him the truth — months after the fact, and long overdue — I hurt him deeply.
So the action of watching doesn't necessarily translate to “going to go out and do it later.” And even if someone (of any orientation) does want to go out and meet that need, if they’re a good partner, they will talk to you about it first and see what you're willing to accomodate.
And if you’re a good partner, you will listen to them without immediately getting upset or defensive.
The whole time I thought, It was childish, but the feeling is understandable: He was clearly attracted to something I would never be able to offer him, and I feared that unmet desire would cause him to seek satisfaction elsewhere.